This piece is a bit overdue. It has been almost two weeks since God gave us this word while we were praying in the boiler room (last last Wednesday).
As usual, we started off with worship. I was leading with the guitar. As we began to flow more with the Holy Spirit, I found myself praying in tongues on and off. I could also hear Weena speaking in tongues. We were trying to sense the Spirit's leading. After a couple of songs, I stopped singing. I sensed we had to wait in silence. Weena asked if you can share a word.
I have requested her to write it down but while waiting for her narration, I've decided to share it best as I can.:
She said God has always been faithful to give her a vision whenever she'd ask for one. That night, she asked God. She waited but none came. This was while we were worshiping. I had also uttered a prayer asking God for strategies. Then God spoke to her firm and lovesick words.
God gave her an impression of her being so close to Him, His face almost touching hers. It was a place of intimacy and God said that if she were that close to Him, the strategies are not really an issue. With no difficulty, no effort or strain, the strategies would just flow. She was in tears while she was relaying this prophetic word. God was after intimacy.
Kuya Troy said in response, that he could feel his heart breaking inside. I felt it too. God's heart was breaking with a hunger for our hearts. God is looking for wholeheartedness. Not wholeheartedness in ministry, but wholeheartedness in DESIRING HIM.
Further expounding, this was what I got from what Weena shared:
How far have our hearts distanced itself from God? Most of us have come to a point where we are only use worship as a vehicle to get to a place where we can ask God for stuff. Our hearts no longer have this yearning to JUST LINGER and feel His breath on our face. Instead, in a hurried stance, we would sing songs, more eager to ask rather than just to GAZE at God and have 'quality time' and fellowship with Him. When was the last time we just 'enjoyed' Him for the sake of enjoying Him? Yes, we're hungry for His presence but we are also more hungry for other things. It takes so much effort to choose Him now. Gone were the days when turning down entertainment was effortless because we simply knew the value of seeking God for the sake of seeking God. Gone were the days when we really burned with the desire for the pleasures of knowing God.
As Weena was sharing though, I was not surprised at all. She was not present during our prayer meeting the week before. That was the time when I shared to the group how JREV intercessors used to pray. We'd come together without a guitar. No we don't even start off with a song. But God would always almost instantly come with the spirit of intercession. And there was almost always just one prayer: WE WANT YOUR PRESENCE LORD. NOTHING MORE AND NOTHING LESS THAN YOUR PRESENCE. And this was what fueled a revolution that has expanded its breadth and depth... reaching people's lives more deeply through Nazirite Trainings and reaching diverse cultures across the globe.
I told the group that this has been the same thing God's been speaking to me. And honestly, I have been having a hard time trying to "go back." I mean, I do pray a lot. I read the word. I seek Him passionately. But I know that something in my heart is just no longer the same. And it's not a retreat or conference thing that would solve it. It has to be something more steady and lasting. We need to cultivate hunger - not just for prayer of righteousness but hunger first and foremost for that ONE THING. We need that spirit that provokes us to pray, WE WANT YOUR PRESENCE GOD and we need to pray it like we mean it.
Days ago, while I was in Zamboanga, I was reminded again of that prayer that we used to pray. I got to meet a young intercessors and she shared how she started off always being burdened to pray for the church service alone in the ladies' room. She would always pray one prayer, let Your presence fall Lord. We want Your presence.
It is not that we do not pray this anymore. We DO pray it still. But last last Wednesday, we just had a painful sense that we do not long for God anymore as much as we used to long for Him. We need Him today more than ever. We understand that it takes God to love God. That is why we are asking Him right now to revive our hearts and birth lovesickness once again.
Attendees: Riza, Weena, Ella, Troy
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